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Release the Beast

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coast

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I feel like I coast through life just waiting, for what I’m not sure.  I read all sorts of self help material advising me to take life by the balls, be in control of my own destiny blah blah blah.  I then spend the next week or two feeling gulity for being so complacent or “not in control” then comes the shame, then all of the usual things that follow in a negative mind set.  Tomorrow is my birthdy and as I approach 35 years old, I wonder how this became my life.  When I was a child and feeling like a prisoner, I would envision my life as an adult….free from ridicule, abuse and lonliness but here I am in the same situation except now I am my own abuser…how ironic that everything I vowed not to be, has become exactly who I am.

I realize now that I am just waiting to die.  I have no real dreams anymore and as I coast to be free, I am so lonely in my own mind.

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Written by Tiffany Sams

November 8, 2010 at 2:22 pm

bitter SWEET

with 5 comments

Once upon a time

Once upon a place

You were here with me

We were face to face

 

You said we’d be forever

Our love would never die

You said you always be there

Although it was a lie

 

I wonder why you did this

Why you’re not here today

Wonder what I did

To make you hurt me this way

 

Maybe it’s not your fault

Somehow you went amiss

But you never said goodbye

Not even one last kiss

 

Even though I am angry

And probably will never forget

The way that you just left me

To live in such regret

 

There will always be a place

In the center of my heart

That never will forget you

And feels we didn’t part

 

So even though you’ve killed

Any chance that I may have

To live a happy life

With someone else instead

 

My heart will always love you

As long as I may be

On this lonely earth

Without you, just me

 

 

Written by Tiffany Sams

March 17, 2009 at 11:59 pm